Today’s subject is Mindful Listening, and I particularly want to discuss what happens during an argument. During arguments, we tend to fire back to the other person – sometimes more than we should.
Often, the best way to counteract this is to hold your tongue no matter how hard it is, and listen to the other person. Not only that, but respond in a way that makes them feel like they are being understood. The reason behind this is that often when people are antagonistic, something is underlying that – and it can be a sort of call for help.
I have often found in arguments that there is a level of hurt within that person who is arguing – which has nothing to do with the argument that is taking place. But they may be using the argument as a way to sound out their frustration. Therefore, there will be no winning in the argument as the person’s pain won’t go away merely from carrying on like this. Likely, another argument will arise quickly, as a form of venting for the person.
So by mindfully listening, and if you can, enquiring as to what they are going through – you may be able to help that person get to the root of the issue they are dealing with. And then, once the problem has been uncovered and the person feels like they can talk to you about it, most likely, the arguments will cease.
In the video version of this blog attached below, there is a clip which starts at 2.16 minutes. This video is a fantastic example of this scenario I have just gone through as shown on the tv show Making Families Happy, which I saw on ABC recently.
Hopefully, this blog helps you understand a little better how to be a mindful listener, and you can put it into action in your life.